Celebrity Psycho Analysis:Poor Michael Jackson

Celebrity Psycho Analysis
Michael Jackson is a victim. It seems that most Americans do not realize that.

The Manipulation of Daunte Culpepper

Here is the distorted story which every one will hear and repeat: Daunte Culpepper, disgruntled and selfish player, arrogantly asks to be traded, in the process letting down his teammates and forcing the Vikings' hands. Want to hear what really happened?

Daunte Culpepper, before the start of last season, was promised a renegotiated contract at the end of the season. Zygi Wilf and others in the organization said that they would definitely reward Culpepper with a new contract, no matter what happened during the season because Daunte had put in many years of high-level service and that Daunte deserved a reward.

The whole team went into a funk in the early part of the season. There were numerous injuries at key positions and Daunte had no protection and no receivers open to throw to. Of course Daunte did not play well and a huge number of fans and media types in Minnesota asked for his head.

A seeming majority of Minnesota sports fans have hated Daunte Culpepper for a long time(informal polls on KFAN radio and the Star Tribune and the Pioneer Press have confirmed this), even when he was going to Pro Bowls and putting up the 4th best stats ever for a quarterback in 2004. The hatred of Daunte has been a mystery to most outside observers for a long time. Some people think it probably has to do with race.

Last season Daunte severely injured his knee(to the secret glee of many), but with modern rehabilitation techniques he will be back next season. When he first got injured, he was privately assured my Zygi and others in the organization that the injury would not affect his contract renegotiations. His years of service to the Vikings would be rewarded and sudden misfortune would not be used to negate what he deserves.

When the off-season rolled around, Daunte sincerely believed that he had been promised a new contract and therefore he inquired about renegotiating with the team. Suddenly the shit hit the fan: Daunte was villified as 'crazy' by vitually all the local press and the vast majority of the fans calling into the sports radio stations. The story went around that Daunte was an uncooperative jerk. He supposedly would not meet with the new coach, Brad Childress, and refused to do his rehabilitation in Minnesota.

Of course, all of that was an incredibly unfair distortion of the truth. The real story is that the team was terribly manipulating Daunte through its connections with the media and poisoning everyone's mind about what was really happening. After the season, Daunte did everything he could to have private meetings with the team about his contract. Daunte knew there was a possibility he would not get a raise. But he thought the new organization and Zygi Wilf would gladly meet with him right away after the season and at least re-structure his contract for better incentives.


Behind the scenes, Daunte was privately shocked that the team refused to meet with him. He could not even get a casual conversation with the owner! After several months of quiet, Daunte, feeling betrayed, got frustrated, and let his agent speak up. The agent used business-speak to tell the media that Daunte felt that he was promised a new contract by the team. The strategy horribly back-fired.

The team portrayed Daunte, through its connections with crucial media outlets, as an uncooperative jerk who was not being a team player. The stories about not meeting with the new coach and the the locale of his rehabilitation in Florida instead of Minnesota were stressed in the media. In truth, the team was releasing those stories through contacts in the media only because the team knew that they had already decided to get rid of Daunte. It had nothing to do with Daunte's supposedly bad behavior. In fact, the organiztion told Daunte many times that rehabilatation in Florida was totally fine, especially since Daunte could get first-rate treatment there, even better than what he could get in Minnesota. That is the only reason why Daunte chose Florida. Not to get away from the team.

As for the coach, Daunte sincerely wanted to meet with the new coach. He said so in telephone conversations with Brad Childress. However, when he went to Vikings' headquarters to discuss his contract situation with the express intent of meeting with the new coach, the team pulled a fast one. They said, "No Daunte, we will not meet with you. First you must talk to the coach." But Daunte had gone there with the promise of working out exactly where the team stood on his contract. The team had manipulated him to come to the Vikings' headquarters under that pretext, then when Daunte felt manipulated and refused to see Childress, the team used that refusal against Daunte and spread the poison to the media.

Sad to say the media did not need much more poisoning. Most local scribes and radio guys have wanted Daunte out for years. It has nothing to do with his playing ability; they just hate him for unknown reasons. Numerous media guys have hounded Zygi Wilf for months about Daunte's roster bonus due this month. They are desperately trying to get Zygi to renege on the roster bonus. So far, Zygi has resisted, knowing full well that roster bonuses are linked to a player's whole career and that a player should not be punished for an untimely injury. But virtually all the media guys say over and over again that Daunte does not deserve the money because he is injured.

In recent weeks, the team, still refusing to meet with Daunte, secretly began shopping him around to other teams. The media began slyly reporting this and when Daunte got the word he could not believe it. Daunte actually refused to believe it and considered it just vicious rumor. Zygi Wilf and the other top brass had not talked to him in months and now they suddenly were deciding to trade him? The media and many fans loved it, firmly convincing themselves that Daunte is a cancer.

Daunte finally did the research and discovered that the team was in fact trying to trade him. Daunte was very hurt, but business is business, and he accepted the fact and asked the team if he could talk to any of the teams that the Vikings had contacted. This is not unheard of: when teams really respect a long-time player, they sometimes give the player the courtesy of allowing them to contact other teams. Zygi Wilf and the Vikings refused and would not talk directly to Daunte either about his contract, his bonus or the impending trade.

Daunte naturally was forced into contacting the media who hates him. He sent some e-mails to newspapers stating that he wanted to be traded or released. Now the most wicked thing of all happens: Zygi Wilf and the press conspire to betray Daunte as the terrible guy who is selfishly demanding a trade. The poor Vikings have to trade Daunte because he demands it. What a wicked lie! Daunte only asked to be traded because the Vikings already were secretly trying to trade him behind his back!


What is amazing is that in every article I read today no one mentions any more that the team initiated the trade talks. Every writer and radio guy only talk about Daunte's demand: they twist every thing around to make it all his fault. Now, to add insult to injury, Zygi Wilf tells the media today how he firmly was sticking behind Daunte as his number one guy, but now with Daunte's trade demands, poor Zygi has his hands tied. What a crock! Zygi has wickedly manipulated this whole situation from the beginning. Basically, Zygi set Daunte up into making this demand so that Zygi would have an excuse for getting rid of him. Zygi now praises Daunte after he knows Daunte's goose is cooked. Zygi was stone-cold silent about Daunte when Daunte was trying to contact Zygi about the contract. The press has totally conspired with Zygi to give a horribly distorted perspective on this whole debacle.



E-ranting: That’s all I do all day long. It is a hard long road to freedom.

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Spankin' the Asphalt Monkey

Millions of Americans spank the asphalt monkey every day. They bump and grind their way across millions of miles of petroleum waste, scarring our country with noise, CO2 , anger and wasted eons of time. Why do we insist on this strange form of locomotion?

Isn’t the answer obvious? We love the freedom of choice. We love the joy of burning rubber, of violently slashing in front of slowpokes, screaming anonymously at the jerks of the world. I love it as much as the next guy or gal. But we’re turning this whole planet into a pressure-cooker. Something has got to be done to stop global warming.

The alternative sources of energy, such as bio-diesel, electric and hybrid cars and solar panels and wind generators, have a bad rep because Eco-greenies radicalize the issues surrounding these new technologies. The easiest way to prevent NYC from being flooded in a hundred years from now by the rising oceans (caused by all the arctic ice melt in the polar regions caused by a warmer planet) is easy to do: anybody who lives less than 5 miles from work should be required to walk to work. It is so easy to walk any distance under 5 miles.

Think of all the millions of people in America and other industrial countries who could easily walk to work but refuse to do so. How much extra time would it take? An extra hour or two at most. There would be tremendous health benefits and people would see the world more intimately as they walked to work. I think it is a beautiful solution and we should all get together and make it happen. Even pass laws if necessary. The people who would be forced to walk to work would eventually thank the lawmakers for the new lifestyle and new, cleaner, more balanced, friendlier world.

This is not a crack-pot solution; it only seems like one because we ALL HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED TO BE ADDICTED TO OUR MOVING METAL CUBICLES. If we can be de-conditioned from this activity, CO2 emissions would be greatly reduced, the inner-cities and clogged suburbs would be quieter and less hectic, and millions of people walking instead of driving would create a much more intimate, friendlier world.


Spankin’ the Asphalt Monkey

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Dr. Phil is a Con Artist

The beloved talk-show 'psychologist,' Dr. Phil, is treating what mentally ills America. Oprah created him, and he has skyrocketed into national consciousness. Even several American Presidents have listened patiently to the wisdom of Dr. Phil.

How this blowhard has managed to be taken seriously should be studied by scientists. He is the exact opposite of what he clamis to be. He is supposedly a super-sensitive, insightful thinker. In reality, he is a super-confident doofus without a whit of sensitivity or psychological insight. The fact that America listens to Dr. Phil is a sure sign of decline of influence of the American Cultural Caretakers. Post-Modernism creates pieces of shit like Dr. Phil and the elite's are removed that much farther from influence with the mindless masses.

Geraldo Riverabus

Geraldo Rivera is at it again. He has his new show syndicated around the country and his unique spiel of posturing, bathos and chest-thumping is thundering its way into American homes. Geraldo is the modern day version of the local Roman governor overseeing the gladiatorial games.

NBA Basketball the best???

E-rants for the Masses
Is the best basketball in the world played in the NBA? Not anymore. The league is diseased and anyone can see it by checking out any random game on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Watch the players lug up and down the court, see the surly benchwarmers glaring at their teammates, feel the lack of teamwork on the court, and it is obvious most of these guys are thinking about all the dough they got at home and are bored silly by the game. If the players in the NBA are bored in the game, how the hell can the fans not be bored?

I challenge anyone to compare the style and attitude of the players in the NCAA tournament to that of the NBA players and tell me they do not see the sad, lost, loose play of the pros. Somehow the pros in the NBA have lost their edge. Ever since the Dream Team, with Magic, Michael, Bird, etc. in '92, the league has been steadily sliding. Very few teams have good player chemistry and very few teams play with a consistent team strategy. It is very hard to get high quality basketball when most of the players play selfishly.

The coaches cannot tell these guys what to do. They have more power than the coaches. The modern era has ushered in the superstar, the individual who plays solely for himself and the crowd. Almost every player in the league was touted at one point as a potential superstar, and since the reality is that there can only be a few real leaders, most of the guys are unhappy. It is easy to sense the jealously on most NBA teams.

The shocking truth is that from 1992 to 2004 the rest of the world caught up to the NBA and then surpassed it in basketball quality. In 1992, the original Dream Team won all 8 games at the Olympics in Barcelona by an average of 44 points. At the 2004 games in Greece, the American Olympic team, stocked by the best pros, such as Allen Iverson, Dwayne Wade and LeBron James, lost 3 games and barely won a bronze medal. Virtually every game was tough, even against countries not known as basketball meccas, such as Greece and Spain. The small island nation of Puerto Rico crushed our 2004 Dream Team by the score of 92-73.

The facts and observation scream it out:
the NBA is not the best basketball anymore.

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Delayed Notes on the Olympics

Just like a little girl dropping a toad, American viewers recoiled from NBC coverage. Bob Costas has about as much life in his tone of voice as a piss-toad. He gives a strong impression that he looks down on these strange un-American sports. He tries to present a fake homie vibe, but his little cynical, "real dude" asides constantly betray his uneasiness at being the master of ceremonies. When he comments on the athletes, especially the figure skaters, even when he is just leading-in to the other announcers, he often gives the smirk and jab that subtly assures the average Jill and Joe that he also does not like this strange, prissy, worldly shit called 'Olympic sports.'

The TV ratings in America were way down for the Olympics because the average American has grown tired of the same dull faces and the same dull voices covering the Olympics. Bob Costas being the dullest face and voice of all, he has got to go.

What's on the Web?

I mean most of us surf every day to no avail. What I mean is that there are so many billions and billions of lost links on the internet, that most of us are just sludging through a vast crapland of fake sites, creative spam, too much redundant porno sh$#%t, all of it designed by money seekers and money makers. Which is all right because it is entertaining. None the less I think it is important to remember why we really surf the web: to grow as human beings. Awwwww... u know what I mean. Our brains are collectively nurtured by all these trillions and trillions of bits and bytes. We don't see the zeros and ones, but our minds feel digitized. And digitized people are grown-up people. No matter how many times I lose out on the web, I always come back because I know I will grow up eventually and become a fully digitized citizen.

Stealing the Algorithm

I can feel it. The googlebot is coming to get me. You might say I am insane, but I know for certain that Google is a strange company and that the founders, Page and Brin, definitely have a master plan for the whole world. Check out this blog to get a feel for who our masters are: Page & Brin .

Sure, you might say, "They are just a couple of innocuous geeks." But you probably haven't read as deeply into them or their company as much as I have. I can't go into too many specific details here because Page & Brin's googlebot records everything on the Worldwide Web. All I can say for now is that there is more to that gaping white space on Page & Brin's famous homepage, google.com, then almost anyone realizes.

Google prides itself on minimalism and speed. The perfect combination in an Information Age. That sparse page, google.com, has attracted over a billion people since its inception. That such a streamlined creation could change the world boggles the mind. All the big boys, Yahoo, Msn, AOL, desperately fill their portals with as much clutter as possible. Google stays primitive but holds fast to the most ass-kicking search algorithm(s) ever created.

Just think if one could steal Google's search algorithm. The possibilities are intoxicating. A few pages of dense, arcane code might be worth over a billion dollars! Of course, I believe there already have been many attempts to steal their sacred algorithm, with a few half-successes. Yahoo, Msn and others probably have gleaned the minds of Google defectors for many years.

Yet Google, led by the mysterious geeks, Page & Brin, always stays one-step ahead of the competition. They constantly tweak their algorithm to make it the purest, most fair, most thorough page-searching algorithm on the net. Google's algorithm weeds out garbage more brilliantly then anyone else. It finds obscure sites quicker than anybody else. How do they do it? The only way to know for sure would be to steal their algorithm.

I am disturbed by Google's all-encompassing influence, but I could never even consider the possiblility of attempting to steal their sacred algorithm. It would probably be a sin to even recommend such an action. However, many others have penetrated Google's recesses and a few have succeeded in doing diabolical tricks. What I am talking about here are individuals who secretly work for other internet portal companies and get hired at Google, posing as run-of-the-mill computer scientists. Google has an incredible vetting process, but a few bad apples get in.

These individuals, bad apples so to speak, lust for Google's algorithm. According to strict protocol, only Page & Brin can see the entire algorithm at one time. However, bits & pieces of this crucial code are scattered about at Google headquarters, and the enterprising computer scientist, with enough cloak-and-dagger ingenuity, can sometimes steal a few code nuggets and take them home and then sell them to the competition. That's how the world has partially caught-up to Google in page search speed.

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The Nature of Language

i have come to the conclusion that cyberspeak is an enjoyable language. It allows one to break the rules of grammar and punctuation without penalty. And this ain't no sin. Language, especially English, has always been an organic substance. In other words, the diction, syntax and rules of any natural mode of communication, such as English, have always morphed and evolved as humans put input into it.

Strict, mechanistic rules in language are only formalized in order to ease communication among the elite. However, the important thing to remember is that certain individuals are naturally elected the right to challenge this order. They do so by being creative.

If we are going to fertilize this organic thing called English, then we have to be willing to see through to the real meaning of the shackles of formalization, and see that these strict rules are really a form of enslavement. Particularly what is enslaved is your creative spirit.

Of course, average ordinary casual speakers know instinctively that language is organic. There are zillions of microcosms, families, sub-families, neighborhoods, clans, groups, sub-cultures, elite and scrubbers, all of which secretly defy convention. Human beings, lurking in their sub-culture, decide willy-nilly to make their own personal language.
The most spectacular recent examples of sub-cultures that have gone far beyond the casual and ordinary in language refinement are the Hip-hop culture and the Cyber culture.

The language wizards in Hip-hop are creative creatures morphing inside your ears. Your average rapper says defiantly, "I make my own world. I/We live by my/our own rules. If you dig us, join our party, help us create a new way to talk,understand the way we talk, rap with us and be free in body, spirit, mind and soul!"
Purveyors of Cyberspeak are very similar in their sentiments. Countless kids can break every English rule in the book behind their teacher's backs and be rewarded for their intelligent creativity at inventing new language terms and acronyms. By being hip to the standard argot of particular chatters, a cyber-geek gets instant status.

Language is a give-and-take game. If what you write is cool and others like it and decide to create a world of communication around your introduced terms and styles, then they will have organically taken what you have offered and helped you to grow a new branch on the language tree. What is so great about such givers like cyber-heads and rap-geeks is that they are bringing much-needed foliage to a tree with a big, fat (not phat)trunk that has grown from the soil of the powered elites, such as traditional novelists, bureaucrats, lawyers, editors, politicos, etc.

Now I do not think these groups of powered elites are completely evil because everyone becomes a powered elite eventually if they are not oppressed and possess talent. (Let's be honest: the hip-hop world and cyber world are full of elites and strict hierarchy.) The problem I have with any elites is that their formalized world stultifies outsiders. If, for whatever reason, you couldn't join the necessary hierarchy of your chosen field or avocation, you will find that you are a fool to the elites of this world because you will not be hip to the definitions of correct communication in it. Knowing the proper language games by the right powered elites is what matters.

I mean, if I tried to rap, I would be one whack motherfu#$%er. When I try to throw my 2 cents into cyber-culture sites on the net, for example, chat rooms, forums, game sites, link dumps, tech site, etc., I can subtly feel the geeks recoiling in horror. But they are only repulsed by me because I don't deserve respect in a world that I have not sweated the proper amount of blood and tears for and have not been properly vetted in. I can't get too upset. All I can do is say, "Hey, I'm a maverick, a free radical, a sticky piece of glue that heals the word wounds between competing sub-cultures. I admit the guilty truth: I am a universalist. But don't see me as someone working for the old fat tree of knowledge. I wanna grow a new phat tree, not just branches, and only a universalist can do this."

(I gotta chill-out and end this rant cuz I'm gettin' tired. But I'll be back...;))